Words of Wisdom

I know this picture is little “more” than I normally post, but it just struck me as something I needed to share.

Ladies, we have got to be careful.  We are the keepers of the gate.  We have to remember that.  I don’t know where it comes from that we, as women, are the weaker sex.  The only thing that applies to is actual, physical strength.

Guys are weak.

Let me share a personal story:

I am the almost 40 year old virgin.  Yes, I know that is weird.  I know that socially that might makes me an outcast or strange, but it is a commitment I made for myself and God a long time ago.  In my life I have kissed four guys:  one when I was in sixth grade; another for about four seconds after senior prom, the third when I was about 24/25, and the last in the last few years.

I was taught well that I was the keeper of the gate.  My momma hammered that home to me over and over and over.  She taught me not to settle.  She taught me that being with a man did not measure my self worth.

Some people may think I take my commitment too seriously.  Others may think that I listened to my mama too much, but I tell you what, this body with all its flaws is mine.  It was given to me by God to be shared with one other person.  Once you give it away, you don’t get it back.

I know that in modern society people believe that making out with/hooking up with/having sex with guys makes you powerful; it makes you strong.  But let me tell you, it doesn’t take strength to say yes.  It takes strength and power to say NO.  No is one of the hardest words there is.

Don’t let any man or society tell you what and when you should be doing something with your morals and your body.  Don’t make them let you feel less or like a social outcast because you aren’t doing what everyone else is doing.

Today in psychology we were talking about mental disorders and how do you decide if someone is just crazy (like me) or CRAZY (like needs therapy).  One of the tests is, “Is this person normal?”  However, you have to look at what is considered “normal.”  For example, if all of society is killing people and stealing from others and you aren’t, you may not be “normal,” but you are indeed not “crazy.”

The same can be said for being physical with a guy before you are ready.  Now, I am not saying that my path of waiting until marriage is the right path for everyone.  What I am trying to say is that what you do with your body, when you do it, and who you do it with is YOUR decision.  Not his.  Not your friends’.  Not society’s.  YOURS.

As for why I posted this picture, WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL.  Walls aren’t bad.  It isn’t bad to be at least a little suspicious.  That is why i believe, as the saying goes, “We have to make them work for it,” not because we are PLAYING hard to get, but because we ARE hard to get.

I promise you, guys are crazy.  They will do or say anything if they think you are willing to give them what they want.  They are OBSESSED with boobs.  OBSESSED I tell you.   We take them for granted because we have them.  They, on the other hand, turn into gurgling idiots when they get around them.  Why do you think they love to hug you so much.  GUARD YOUR BODY!!!!!

A perfectly lovely guy who has always been a “good” guy can quickly become the guy who will take advantage of you if he thinks he can convince you to do something with him he wants you to.  Trust me I know.

He may talk a good talk.  He can say he cares about you all he wants to, but I promise you do NOT make excuses for his unacceptable behavior. Have standards.  Stick to them.

There is a great 80s movie called, “She’s Out of Control,”  In it, the father tells his recently popular daughter, “There is nothing beautiful and special about sneaking into a window at 2 in the morning.”  I have lived by these rules most of my life.  I have come close to giving up on them.  I have come too close to letting a guy who I thought was a “good” guy convince me of things that led me to makes excuses for his behavior, but thankfully I never let it get out of control.

If a guy really cares about you, he won’t ask you to sneak out your window to be with him.  It may seem sweet and romantic, but trust me, it isn’t.  Guys can be snakes.  We have to protect ourselves.  I promise you, if he cares about you, he won’t pressure you.  He won’t make you feel guilty about NOT going things.  He won’t talk about you if you DO decide to do things.  I have yet to find this man, so here I sit, single.

Yes, sometimes that depresses me. Sometimes I feel like an outcast.  I feel like I am going to be one of those women who is old and single and people around town say, “We just don’t understand why someone as great as her never got married.”  That would SUCK, but being physical with a guy is like any other thing.  No matter how great those who have done it says it is, you won’t know what you’re missing if you haven’t done it.

I don’t want to become a slave to my feelings of lust.  I don’t want to chase after guys because “I need some.”  (Crass i know, but I don’t know how else to say that.)

Am I a prude?  Hardly.  But I want a MAN, a man I can depend on; a man who loves me (my crazy, overemotional self and all.)  I want a MAN who chooses me over his friends, not all the time because we both need friend time.  I want a MAN who wants to make me happy in every way.  I want a MAN who steps up to his responsibilities and accepts the consequences of his choices.  A MAN won’t pressure you to do things you don’t want to.

Being sexy is fine (when it is appropriate for age and situation)  Having someone who is “hot” or “beautiful” is great, but having a MAN who sees all your ugly, all your flaws, all your crazy, and loves you in yoga pants, hair on your head, glasses on, no makeup on self, that is who you want.  When you find that man, pour your love and attention on him.  I promise if he is the man for you, he will do the same thing.  You both have to lift each other up, cherish each other, desire each other, love each other with every thing you have to make a relationship work.

The main point of this is just be careful.  Guard yourself.  Guard your heart.  Guard your morals.  Guard your body. Make sure that guy is worthy of the deepest, most intimate part of yourself.  Because I promise you, from personal experience, I know the wrong guy (and some of them are really good at pretending the be the right one) will do anything to get in your pants or feel you up and get what they want and never really care anything about who you are as a woman, your hopes, fears, desires.

Be strong women.  Remember we are the ones with the power.  We are the keepers of the gate.  It is our job to remind guys of that.  We are all worthy of that kind of love and admiration.  The feel good of the physical part is short lived and wears off usually in hurt and feeling used.  Waiting may hurt and make you feel left out, but it is nothing compared to hurt of when you give your heart and body to a man who doesn’t care about you and makes you feel like last week’s trash when he is done with you or doesn’t get what he wants.