Fat Monica Fallout

Okay, so it really bothers me that "Fat Monica" on Friends right now, "Fat Monica" who is described as "way too fat for Chandler to date," "Fat Monica" who is being characterized as eating all the time; constantly, to the point of hiding food in her pockets and sneaking behind others' backs to eat, and being laughed at for it, is smaller, a lot smaller than I am . 

I mean I know that I am not small or averaged sized, but I am also not a joke, and I get so tired of bigger people being ridiculed and mocked in the media, especially when it comes to being attractive or desirable. Is it really okay to act like we don't have feelings? Is it okay to reinforce the belief that many overweight people already have about not feeling worthy of being thought of as attractive or desirable?

I have spent most of my life fighting feelings of inadequacy because of my size. As a young child I was laughed at at school. In sixth grade I cried pretty much every day because I was picked on for being overweight. In high school I cheered because I loved it, and I was pretty darn good at it, but of all the great memories I have from that time the two that stand out the most to me are being taken into a classroom by the coaches and hearing them tell me if I didn't loose weight that "even if I had the highest score at try outs" I wouldn't make the squad because I was too big, and the other is walking up to receive my cheerleading honors for cheering for the state championship football team hearing someone say, "She looks more like a linebacker to me."

Why is it okay to so openly ridicule people for their size? I know I could lose weight. Don't think I haven't tried and am trying right now, and yes I know it is something I have to do for myself. But, it just makes me mad that it seems like society expects me to change myself to be accepted into the world of desirable women.

Yes, I am not a size two or ten or fourteen or even a sixteen, but what about me is not desirable? I, like millions or other women who aren't even average sized are beautiful, both inside and out. Is it not desirable to be smart and funny? Is it not desirable to be kind and thoughtful? Is it not desirable to be feminine and loving? Is it not desirable to be nurturing and confident?

These adjectives are what I hear quoted as desirable by most men who claim they want a "real/good woman," but if it doesn't come wrapped up in a perfect package it doesn't seem to be enough. Not only that but when, shaped like me, is empowered and confident when it comes to men, they are often ridiculed and laughed at with joking comments about how silly she looks or the butt of "who's gonna be the lucky one to get to go home with her? hahahaha."

I mean it just isn't right. I am sorry "Fat Monica" led me down a tirade, but it is something that really bothers me from time to time. I get tired of being physically more like the girl in the movie who is gross and fat (a la Melissa McCarthy's character in Bridesmaids) than the main character.

Yes, not all fat people are gross and sloppy and obsessed with sneaking food. Well, I guess we are obsessed with food or we wouldn't be fat, (haha) but it is not the center of all fat people's worlds.

Just once, I would like the fat girl in a movie or a tv show to be portrayed as the pretty one, and not the ugly, sloppy sidekick. (Well, there is Hairspray, so maybe more than once.)

You know when the Princess and the Toad came out, I was so excited that little black girls finally had a Disney princess like them. I couldn't imagine what life would have been like if every Disney princess was different than me, but then I realized that even though their skin color is like mine, I too am missing my Disney princess twin, because heaven forbid the prince fall in love, just once with a girl bigger than a minute. But as my my two favorite Disney princesses say, "A dream is a wish your heart makes," and "Watch and you'll see, someday I'll be part of that world."